Aisha's Story | Hot Flushes and Heartbreak
- Jennifer McNeil
- Mar 27
- 8 min read
Aisha spent years balancing love, career, and ambition, often putting herself last. After a decade-long, on-and-off relationship, she now finds herself alone, the breakup landing at the same time as menopause and all the changes it brings.
Hot flushes, mood swings, and a growing disconnect from her body forced her to stop and face what she had long ignored. Alongside this, she is coming to terms with a life without children, shaped by years of waiting and compromise.
For the first time, Aisha is navigating life on her own terms. It’s not easy. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s real.
And with each day, she is learning to prioritise herself, rebuild her confidence, and step into a new chapter that finally belongs to her.
“What do you mean you need your space? We’ve only been back together a few months,” Aisha pleaded. “This is what you asked for. This is what you wanted.”
“Yeah, well, it was what I thought I wanted, but now…” Marcus shrugged.
“Oh… I get it. Now the chase is over, so is the excitement,” Aisha remarked.
“It’s not like that. I just don’t feel the same way I used to. I mean, you’ve changed. Just look at you.” Marcus gestured towards her with a look of disgust.
Aisha turned to look in the mirror. She held her head down, ashamed of the reflection staring back at her. No, she didn’t like what she saw. Her body was changing.
Marcus interrupted her thoughts. “Your mood swings, your whole vibe is off. Something has shifted, and I don’t want to deal with it anymore,” Marcus said.
“Marcus, I’m 49. I’m going through a whole body change, let alone my mind. This is hard enough to deal with without you making me feel worse. I thought we had got past this phase of our relationship. I thought you would be supportive, but I gather you’re too weak of a man to deal with anything other than yourself.
What about when you lost your job and felt low? Who took care of you then? When you were at a crossroads trying to figure out your next move, who stood steadfast by your side?
But it’s OK, Marcus. I should have known better than to take your word for anything.”
“Don’t make this about me,” Marcus said angrily. “You’re the one who’s changed.”
“Wow. OK. Do what you’ve got to do. But know this is the last time. There is no coming back,” Aisha warned.
“So be it.” Marcus turned his back, collected his things, and walked out the door.
Aisha collapsed onto the chair, sobbing. Beating herself up for letting it happen again. It had been a rocky road between them, off and on for 10 years. But this was the last straw.
She’d said that before. Yet no matter how many times he left, she would always take him back. Somehow, this felt different.
Aisha picked up the phone and called Danielle. The tears flowed. She just needed someone to tell her she would be OK.
She had noticed her body changing. Her clothes felt tighter, her hair drier, her skin looser. She had always been conscious of her weight, but now, combined with feeling constantly bloated, it was causing mood swings.
What she didn’t expect, however, was that it would signal the end of her relationship. Maybe it was just the excuse he needed.
After ending the call with Danielle, Aisha looked around the room at the memories that still remained. Some were good, some were bad. Then it hit her. The next chapter, she would have to face alone. Part of her felt scared, confused, unsure of what the future held or how to navigate it. That was something she would need to figure out.
She felt a hot flush consume her like steam from a kettle, rising fast, unstoppable, leaving her dizzy. She grabbed her fan like it owed her, stealing a few seconds from the burn racing through her. Aisha longed for the symptoms to disappear. But it wasn’t just the physical symptoms, it was the mental ones too. It felt like the end of an era she would never get back.
Aisha never had children. Not because she didn’t want to, but because it was never the right time for Marcus. She had come to terms with that and embraced her independence. She was happy to be called “Auntie”, and they adored her. Still, there were moments when she wondered if a child would have filled the void, even though she knew that wasn’t the answer.
Now, nature had decided it for her. She felt middle-aged, shelved, and alone.
As she lay her head on the pillow, she couldn’t help but think woulda, shoulda, coulda.
Eventually, she fell asleep, knowing her life would never be the same.
The days rolled into weeks, and there was no contact from Marcus. It had ended so abruptly that she expected at least one conversation for closure, but nothing came.
Morning arrived quicker than she liked. With the sunlight came the realisation that she longed for closeness. She turned towards the empty pillow and stroked it softly. Emotions rising, Aisha turned to face the window and stayed there for a while. “Life will still keep lifeing,” she thought. “No matter what I am going through.”
She slowly rose out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. She was exhibiting her work today. Not that she felt like it. But it was time to put on the mask.
Aisha arrived at the creative event with her trolley full of goods and began setting up her stall.
She had always been creative and wanted to use her work to spread positivity. It wasn’t easy turning passion into income. Some weeks were great, others she was scrambling for pennies. But she refused to give up. Over time, she had built a network of creatives she saw regularly. This was her safe space, surrounded by people on the same journey. Just then, Alice walked over.
“Hey Aisha, your stall looks amazing as usual. You look fab,” Alice said.
“Yeah, well, I don’t feel it,” Aisha replied.
“Oh?” Alice said, quizzically.
“It’s OK. It’s midlife kicking in. It’s driving me crazy.”
“I hear you,” Alice nodded. “I never expected it to hit me like this.”
“I know, right? You hear so many stories, but until it hits you, that’s all they are. The bloating is killing me. None of my clothes fit anymore.”
“I feel your pain. I’m just using it as an excuse to buy more clothes,” Alice laughed, trying to
lighten the mood. “But seriously, we have to adjust whether we like it or not. I try to exercise more. Walking helps me physically and mentally, and there are supplements I take that seem to work. If all else fails, a visit to the doctor might help.”
“Mmm,” Aisha responded. “It’s good to talk about these things. Sometimes you think you’re the only one going through it.”
“It may sound daft, but when I was low, I did some research and found a coach who
supports women through life transitions. It’s different from the others I’d spoken to. As well as talking to her, she invited me to a workshop. That’s when I noticed a real difference. Hearing other people’s stories and supporting each other, it changed my perspective. I thought it would just be strangers complaining, but it wasn’t. It made me realise I wasn’t alone and gave me practical ways to manage menopause. I’ll WhatsApp you the details.”
The doors opened, and people began to fill the room. Alice waved goodbye and made her way back to her stall.
The day went well. Aisha sold quite a few pieces. It always made her smile knowing her creations would live in someone else’s home.
That evening, the girls were meeting at Spark & Soul.
Simone waved as Aisha approached the table. “Hey girl, how are you?”
Aisha hesitated. Just then, Danielle and Priya arrived, and the conversation picked up.
“Well… I’ve been struggling since Marcus left,” Aisha admitted.
“Have you heard from him?” Priya asked.
Aisha shook her head. “I don’t want to make the same mistake again, but it’s hard.”
“And it would be,” Danielle said gently. “He was a big part of your life.”
“Maybe it’s for the best,” Simone said. “He’s always been an egotistical prick.”
“Simone!” Priya gasped.
“What? It’s true,” Simone replied. “It’s OK to feel pain, but it’s also OK to tell the truth. He belittled you, didn’t value you, and was always threatened by your talent. You’re better off without him.”
Aisha managed a small smile. “I know… but it still hurts. All those years wasted.”
“Not wasted,” Danielle said. “A lesson learned.”
“You’ll come back stronger,” Simone added. “Every lesson tells a story. Now you get to write the next chapter.”
“She’s right,” Priya said. “If it’s not meant to be, it’s not worth chasing. Whatever happens, make it happen on your terms.”
“You’re right,” Aisha said, taking a sip of her drink. “But you know what’s really pushing me over the edge…”
“Menopause,” they all said in unison, laughing.
“Yes,” Aisha nodded. “And I’m over it. Alice sent me something about a group session.”
“It’s not one of those ‘hold hands in a circle’ things, is it?” Simone joked.
“No,” Aisha laughed. “It’s just something different. And right now, I’m willing to try.”
“Send it to us too,” Danielle said.
“There… done,"Aisha pressed the button. "Now can we talk about something lighter? I need a drink.”
Yes, this is where we come together. We share, we connect, and we tell the truth, even when it’s hard. That’s what real friends do. These are my girls. Every single one of them. Aisha smiled.
Final Thoughts
Menopause, heartbreak, and starting again were never part of Aisha’s plan. But life rarely asks for permission before it shifts.
What she’s beginning to realise is that this chapter isn’t about loss, it’s about truth. About letting go of who she thought she had to be, and learning who she is now.
It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. And at times, it can feel incredibly lonely.
But no one is meant to navigate it in silence.
Sometimes, all it takes is a space to be heard, to make sense of the change, and to reconnect with yourself in a way that feels steady again. Through shared conversations, reflective tools, and supportive environments, that sense of clarity and confidence can begin to return.
Because this isn’t the end of her story.
It’s the moment she starts writing it differently.
Website | www.lifestorycoachbyjenn.co.uk
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