Meet Danielle | Something’s Got To Give

Holding everything together… until something has to give.

 Danielle has spent years putting others first -family, work, and community. After a career plateau and some health scares, she realised it was time to focus on herself. She approaches life with practical optimism, taking small, steady steps toward change: setting boundaries, joining new classes, and prioritising her wellbeing. Danielle’s journey is about embracing life deliberately and intentionally, learning that practical choices can lead to growth, confidence, and hope for the future.

Joey, I’m not going to tell you again!” Danielle shouted up the stairs at the top of her voice. “And as for you, young lady, put your shoes on,” she added, pointing to Lisa’s shoes underneath the stairs. This was the normal morning routine. Josh had already left for work. Most days felt like Groundhog Day - stressful, exhausting, and frustrating. She checked her watch; it was now 8:10 a.m., and she was already ten minutes behind. Danielle had an important meeting to prepare for this morning.

“Joey,” she screamed once more, “if you do not get your ass downstairs right now, there will be no PlayStation for the rest of the week.”

Joey sulkily appeared at the top of the stairs and slowly made his way down.

“I don’t want to go to school today,” he whined. “Miss Henley hates me. She always puts me in time-out.”

“Well, if you behaved, she wouldn’t have to. And if I get one call from your school today, it’s me and you. Now get your coat on and let’s go,” Danielle said impatiently as she handed him his coat. She ushered the children into the car and started the engine.

Danielle tapped her feet anxiously as they waited for the slow traffic to start moving again. The children were in the back of the car, fighting as usual. She couldn’t hear her own thoughts. With Joey being nine years old and Lisa five, the sibling rivalry was apparent. Joey wanted more independence and space, while the five-year-old was still testing boundaries and seeking attention from her brother, even if it was negative. As the noise level rose, so did Danielle’s frustration.

“Will you be quiet!” she yelled.

The car fell silent.

“Finally,” she muttered under her breath. She was pitching for a new contract she had been working on all week. Her boss had stressed the importance of securing this deal (no pressure), and the day had already started with her falling behind schedule. As she pulled up to the school gates, she felt guilty about shouting at the kids. She turned to them and smiled wearily.

“Have a good day.”

Joey and Lisa jumped out of the car and made their way to the gates. The sun was shining for once, and there were blue skies, but Danielle did not have time to take in the scenery. She pressed her foot on the gas and was off.

Danielle arrived at work with literally one minute to spare. She saw her boss glance at her watch. Danielle gestured apologetically before heading to her desk. Her boss appeared at the door.

“You do realise how important today is,” Lillian questioned.

“Yes, Lillian, I have been working at home in the evenings to make sure the pitch is right.”

“Good… they will be here in an hour and a half. Don’t mess this up.” Lillian turned and left. Danielle made a sarcastic gesture behind her back before opening her laptop.

“Right… let’s do this.”

While putting the finishing touches on the report, the phone rang. It was her mom’s care home.

“Hello Danielle, I hope you’re well. I just thought I would let you know that your mom is becoming increasingly confused. Sometimes agitated, often displaying mood swings. I wondered if it was possible for you to come in so we can review her care plan,” Sarah enquired.

Danielle bowed her head. This was not what she needed right now. Danielle was the main contact for her mom, despite having two older siblings. They very rarely expressed interest -just the odd visit here and there and occasional phone calls for updates, nothing that offset the load. Yes, the duty of care was on her shoulders, but God knows she could do with sharing it now and again. It wasn’t that she didn’t care, but it was a lot sometimes - so much so that there were times she resented it.

“Thanks for letting me know. Can we arrange it for next week sometime? I’m in the middle of something at the moment,” Danielle replied.

“Sure, give me a call when you’re free,” Sarah responded.

Danielle clasped her head between her hands. “When will I get five minutes to myself?” she inhaled. “Just breathe.” She looked at the clock, picked up her folder, and made her way to the meeting room.

The pitch went well, which was not surprising considering how much effort she had put into it. She let out a sigh of relief as she left the room. Danielle entered her office and sat down, with her mom on her mind. She felt exhausted and dizzy. She was glad it was Friday (not that it made much difference). Just then, Lillian appeared at the office door.

“Well done, Danielle. That went well. We will know the outcome next week,” Lillian said. Her smile turned to one of concern. “Are you OK?”

“No, not really. Before the meeting, I received a phone call from the care home. They want me to come in next week. Mom isn’t doing too well,” Danielle replied.

“Sorry to hear that, Danni. If you need to take time off, just let me know,” Lillian gave a reassuring smile.

“I will,” Danielle started to put her desk in order. It was soon time to pick up the kids.

“Get some rest this weekend. You deserve it,” Lillian said, her tone firm but encouraging.

“I will try,” Danielle sighed.

Back home, after picking up the kids, Danielle turned her attention to dinner. Joey was in his room on the PlayStation and Lisa on her tablet. For once, there was a moment of peace.

Josh arrived home at around 5:30 p.m.

“Hello love,” he smiled as he took off his boots. Josh worked in construction, which often meant long days and some weekends. He was often too tired to do much with the kids and, in his spare time, usually down the pub with his mates. Danielle had somewhat got used to this routine, saying to herself, “That’s just the way it is.”

“Busy as usual,” Danielle replied as she peeled the last potato.

“Oh, and I’ve got to arrange a meeting next week to discuss Mom’s care plan. Apparently, she’s not doing too well.”

“Can’t David or Jessica handle it this time? It’s too much for you on your own,” he said, slightly irritated. “It’s not like we don’t have our own things going on. A little bit of consideration wouldn’t go amiss.”

“I know, and I’ve tried. It’s just excuse after excuse,” Danielle explained. Josh shook his head.

“I’m going to take a shower. When will dinner be ready?” Danielle hated that question. It triggered her - maybe because it would be nice if someone cooked for her sometimes. She closed her eyes and paused before answering, “In about half an hour.”

“Good… I’m starving. I’m off out with the lads later.” He gave her a peck on the cheek and went upstairs. Danielle continued cooking.

Once the children were settled in their rooms, Danielle finally sat down. Her head was hurting; she could feel her heart beating, and the dizziness had resurfaced. This was becoming a regular occurrence, combined with the headaches - a bit concerning. Day after day, she promised to phone the doctor, but other things got in the way and she would forget. I will do it first thing on Monday. Feeling exhausted, Danielle fell asleep in the chair.

Danielle was woken out of her sleep by her phone ringing. It was Aisha.

“Hi Danni, are you OK?” Aisha asked. Danielle could sense that something was up.

“Just tired… what’s up?” Danielle asked.

“Me and Marcus have split up,” Aisha replied tearfully.

“Not again,” Danielle exclaimed.

“This time, I think it’s for good.”

“What happened?” Danielle asked as she adjusted herself in the chair.

“He says I’ve changed and he can’t put up with my mood swings. He even commented on my weight, saying I have let myself go.”

“Oh Aisha, that’s awful and uncalled for. Menopause is not easy at the best of times. What a thing to say in such a cruel way.”

“Things haven’t been great for a while now, but I am working on it. I’m at the gym and watching what I eat. I even take supplements for my mood. I just feel so up and down right now.”

“I hope you’re doing this for you and not to please anyone else. The last thing you need is to be worrying about what other people think. It’s stressful enough going through it. Maybe you both need space. If he’s not supporting you, you need to take a step back and ask, ‘What do I need right now?’"

“Maybe… I’m just fed up with the back and forth. I need to know where I stand.”

“No, you need to love yourself first and stop relying on him to make you happy.” There was silence on the other end of the phone.

“I’m going now. My head is all over the place. Catch you later.” Aisha ended the conversation.

Danielle shook her head and lay back in the chair. This has been one hell of a day, and her head was still pounding.

Monday arrived sooner than Danielle would have liked. Yes, it had been another busy weekend. With Josh recovering from a hangover, it was left to Danielle to take Joey to football, Lisa to dance class, not to mention the house cleaning and weekly shop. Once again, Danielle had neglected herself and was feeling it this morning. The constant headache was back, and the exhaustion was visible. She had booked the appointment for the care home and now onto the doctor’s. She managed to book an appointment for that afternoon, just before picking up the children, using her TOIL.

In the doctor’s office, they discussed her symptoms. After the assessment, the doctor looked at her with a concerned expression.

“Well Danielle, how much time do you get to yourself?” he asked.

“Very little, if I’m being honest,” Danielle shrugged.

“Well, there lies the problem. Your symptoms are symptomatic of chronic fatigue, and by the sounds of it, brought on by chronic stress and burnout. This, combined with hormonal changes due to perimenopause, can have a long-lasting impact with health implications. Now, what can we do to improve this… I can treat your headaches and dizzy spells, but ultimately, it’s a lifestyle change you need to consider. What support do you have around you?”

“Well, to be honest, I just get on with it,” Danielle replied.

“Well… that is not the answer.” Dr Richards handed Danielle a leaflet. “Take this leaflet and look at the areas of your life that you think are most affected. Then we can put a plan together to get you back on track. There are several things you can do at home. There are support groups you can tap into. I will print your prescription, but please consider these carefully. This won’t go away unless you make adjustments in your life.”

Danielle was relieved she knew what the condition was but struggled with how to adjust. One thing she knew for sure: things had to change, and serious conversations needed to be had.

At Spark & Soul, she shared her diagnosis with the girls.

“Oh Danielle,” Priya said empathetically, “you do so much for everyone else and neglect your wellbeing.”

“Yes, Simone,” added, “you are the kindest, most generous person I know. You find it hard to say no, but at what cost?”

Danielle acknowledged the kind words and nodded in agreement.

“I have started to have the conversations, but whether they take me seriously is a different matter.”

“Well, this time, they have to. I’m sorry for burdening you with my problems last week. I didn’t know,” Aisha smiled apologetically. “We’re talking about your health here. You need to make the changes, Danni. The other option is to keep suffering.”

“It’s OK,” Danielle reassured Aisha. “What are friends for… I have been looking at support groups and came across a workshop on managing stress and burnout. I’m thinking about going.”

“Great… that’s a start, and maybe this is just what you need to start taking your wellbeing seriously. This is no joke. Sign up. If you want, I will go with you for support,” Simone added.

“That would be great,” Danielle smiled.

“It’s a date,” Simone laughed.

Danielle appreciated the fact that she was not alone on this journey. The girls grounded her and always spoke the truth, even if it was the harsh reality. Another meaningful evening spent surrounded by those willing to go the extra mile.

Final Thought

Somewhere between the school runs, the deadlines, the caring, and the constant “just getting on with it”, Danielle lost sight of where she ended and everything else began.

And the truth is, she’s not alone. So many women are carrying full lives on empty tanks, normalising exhaustion, silencing the warning signs, and convincing themselves they’ll deal with it later.

But later has a way of catching up.

Change doesn’t always start with a big decision. Sometimes it starts with a pause. A conversation. A moment to step back and ask, “What do I actually need?”

Because when you begin to understand your story, you also begin to realise you’re allowed to rewrite it.

Not perfectly. Not all at once. But differently.

And sometimes, all it takes is the right space, the right support, and someone to guide you through the process - whether that’s within a shared workshop setting or more focused one-to-one conversations.

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