When Life Doesn't Go As Planned
Somewhere along the way, I lost my voice
Through the heartache, the pain, the trauma, the noise
Then one day I looked in the mirror and said, “This isn't me”
I am not the person I used to be
I lost my spark, my sense of identity
And became someone I thought everyone else wanted me to be
Then at the age of 50, I took back control
Started living life on my terms, I was no longer dispensable
Through this journey, the spark that once dimmed started to shine
I could not turn back the hands of time, but I started to reclaim what was mine
My confidence, my passion, my ability to shine
I found a new family with whom my spirit aligns
What felt like a mountain to climb became an adventure of twists and turns
But through it all, there are lessons I have learned
Live your life on your terms, be tenacious, and determined to live out your dreams
No longer sit in the shadow of the person you are meant to be
I am worthy of the life I am building, all that my heart desires
I continue to live my story with an awareness of self, as I write the next chapter.
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There are times in life when you look around and realise you are somewhere you never expected to be. Life changes. Plans change. We change. We spend so much time thinking about where we're going. The plans, the goals, the life we imagined for ourselves.
Less time is spent thinking about what happens when that picture changes.
What happens when the life you imagined no longer fits?
What happens when the person you've become doesn't quite feel like you?
And what happens when, somewhere along the way, you begin to discover things about yourself that you hadn't seen before?
Difficult experiences can reveal parts of us that might otherwise have remained hidden.
Strength we didn't know we had.
Courage we hadn't needed before.
The ability to keep going when we weren't sure how.
A determination that emerged because something mattered enough.
We can discover how resourceful we are. How adaptable. How much we can carry. We can find parts of ourselves that had been sitting quietly in the background, waiting for a reason to come forward.
My release was expressive writing. It became a way of making sense of some of those discoveries. Not by having all the answers, but by giving thoughts somewhere to land. A memory can become something you can look at. A feeling can become something you can name. An experience can become something you can begin to understand differently.
And when we start putting those pieces together, our understanding of ourselves can change too. What happened hasn't changed. But the way we see ourselves within our own story can.
We might recognise the courage it took to make a decision. The strength it took to keep going. The creativity that helped us find another way. The determination that got us through something we never expected to face.
For me, the journey has brought a stronger awareness of who I am, what matters to me and what I want the next part of my life to look like. I cannot turn back time. I cannot change every experience that shaped me. But I can decide what I take from it.
I can recognise the strength that was built along the way.
I can make space for the parts of myself that became quieter.
And I can keep discovering who I am becoming.
Maybe that is part of the unexpected journey. We don't always find ourselves by following the plan. Sometimes we discover ourselves because the plan changed. You don't have to have reached the end of the journey to recognise something valuable about yourself. You might still be in the middle of it. Still figuring things out. Still making sense of what happened. Still wondering what comes next.
But somewhere along the way, you may have discovered that you are stronger, more capable, more determined, more creative or more resilient than you ever gave yourself credit for.
Website: www.lifestorycoachbyjenni.co.uk
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